A short assessment of the new lifestyle
A birthday, assessment and surgery; what a month!
The month started in celebrations, my son turned 19! And with my dad abroad and stepmother busy it was up to me to make him his favourite Surinam dish: rice with Pom. A first that felt like an adventure. Pom is a surinam oven dish, a general recipe that each family adapts to their own taste. This also means that though we all have the same dish, nobody makes it as good as your own parents. The stakes were high. So with continuous digital guidance I I prepared the dish. And succeeded! Oh happy day and happy smiles!
Birthdays often inspire me to evaluate past periods. It struck me that a year had past since I started the new regime. If #summerbodies are made in #winter, does that mean I'm entering the spring of my life? Over the year I have added the following activities to my life:
- walking - cycling - running;
- healthier eating;
- bright light therapy;
- hand exercises to do before, and after surgery;
- And soon hand surgery (planned at 15/3).
Though small results became visible soon, in Sept 2015 they seemed sturdier and steady. And it goes on. I have noticed that:
- the body is more fit;
- bonus, body is leaner;
- I sleep longer/better at night;
- I feel better rested during the day (less agitated);
- the brain seems more adept.
The doctor at the hand clinic said that she thought that with exercises and surgery my hands could become usable again! She believed my painful hands were due to stiff fingers as a result of the hand surgeries in 2013/2014. Not arthritis or anything of the likes as my previous General Practitioner (GP) stated. My first thought was that maybe I should have come to this clinic earlier. One of my stepmothers had spoken highly of it. And I was hesitant, a hospital sounded safer. I guess I was not ready before. I had to go wrong before I was open to doing it right. And now it all seems to fall into place.
Talking about this, and some other things my new GP confirmed that I am (finally) taking the right actions to recover from extreme exhaustion (burnout+). But that I have to bear in mind that I may need 1-3 years time to recover. Starting the moment I instigated this new lifestyle (Feb 2015). I could consider additives in the form of homeopathy or acupuncture. I think I will pass on those for now.
On 15 maart surgery took place. When I was heading home they asked "when are they picking you up?" They were astonished that I planned to travel home by public transport. I thought it was ridiculous. Why shouldn't I travel alone? When I arrived home I understood. I was done. Went to bed and slept the rest of the day. New temporary accessory, tired, but happy! Tt was hard not being able to use the hand normally. Not cycling, or doing the dishes. Simple things as getting dressed, going to the bathroom was hard or doing my hair was hard. he hardest was knowing I was not allowed to run for at least a week. Luckily the healing went well.
Overall I feel thankful for these big beautiful surprises! And I start to become scared shitless for the next phase. My body is coming together, my brain is waking up from hibernation. And I realise my current worsened situation better, including the severe student loan. My last tactics to work hard and earn lots forced my system to shut down out if sheer protection. So what strategy can help me to find a challenge that will help me earn enough to pay it off and have enough money for basic life? And more importantly: how can I find balance in a lifestyle when work is added to the equation?
Though all focus should be on becoming whole again, this seems to get in my way.. As I've written before, I need a plan, or some sort (of illusion) of control to guide me forwards. Shortly (in max 2 years) I should be healthy and ready to start; yet I have no idea what to do? What if the current situation figuratively pulls the rug from underneath me before I even get there? It's hard to be mindful in a time like this.. Can you blame me for sometimes hiding in #bingewatching?